Sunday, August 12, 2012

Hard Friday.

I don't normally post about the challenges of mothering, especially with a new baby, but sometimes it needs to be kept real here too.

Friday had all the hallmarks of being a wonderful day, we were expecting a special visitor in the afternoon and we were heading to the shops to buy a few things for the dinners I had planned.  I am not sure how it all became unravelled, I think it had so much to do with the lead up.

Every now and then like anyone things end up on top of me, there is so much washing, sorting, folding, cleaning, bottom wiping, disciplining, cooking and loving to be done in a day it just feels too big.  Friday it became a mountain.  I had been feeling like I wasn't able to give much of my attention to Hugo of late, whenever I had some moments to sit down with him a disaster would happen somewhere else in the house needing my full and constant attention, and then inevitably by the time that was done it was almost nap time for him again.  I was finally caught up on jobs, the dinner was cooking, and I had made sure that I had a few hours ready to spend with both Otto and Hugo.  Except that didn't happen, there were nappy blow outs, potty training disasters, rice explosions (thanks to Otto) and phone calls that required my full attention and immediate decisions.  This all ended with me trying to bite back the tears and resurrect the day playing with Hugo on the bathroom floor while watching Otto in the bath.

In the end it all worked out, smiles were shared and love was given out but if life has taught me anything so far, time flies, we all know the saying 'the days are long but the years are short', never is a truer word spoken.  My time with these magical boys is so short I want to grab it with both hands and never let go, but I also need to cherish all the time I spend with them, even if at that moment I feel defeated, exhausted and like giving up.

Because at the end of the day there is no better feeling than folding the washing and smiling as you remember the dirt on the knees, and the magic that happened even while you weren't watching.

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