Getting back to it.

This last weekend we finally started to recover from a fortnight of (possibly exaggerated) black plague.  The sleep factor has been low, the grumpy factor high and the training non existent, my sole purpose was to get us all back to health and recover well.  In saying that, I did run 8 km for the Mothers Day Classic, I was feeling a bit better and the boys were so pumped to "run" in a proper race with me that I didn't feel as though I could let them down.  It was a nice run, I felt good and was happy with 46:43 as my time.

It was great to run with Mum and has become a tradition for over ten years now, broken only by overseas placements and pregnancies, a great reminder of how life constantly changes over the years and the achievements we have both made in living an active life.

Now that we are finally better it has been back to training, I have another half marathon in August and I am aiming to get my time in under 2 hours, and of course my ultimate goal of competing in an Olympic distance triathlon in November.  I have lined up a few new items in my training this time around and I have to say it has been a challenge and I have questioned exactly what I am doing.  I am still enjoying park run on Saturday and even managed to come first in my category last week which was thrilling!

(Don't you love the sass coming from Otto!)

But Sunday I headed out for a ride with a cycling club, admittedly I thought we were only going to do 30-40km of a route I have cycled a few times, ensuring I would be back home around 8 so imagine my surprise when all of a sudden we are heading towards Wynum and they have put me in the fast pace group.  It was approx 50-60km round trip and by the middle I was feeling exhausted, I had overdressed so was pretty hot, sick of stopping at lights and going up hills, it was all I could do to hold it together until we got back to our cars.  I questioned my sanity many times on that ride, exactly what did I think I was doing?  I have barely ridden in my life time, never with a proper bike and never within the capacity that I have challenged myself to lately, I was constantly at the back of the group and felt like I was holding the fast people up, and I hate being at the back.

Roll on Monday and I turn up at swim squad only to be told we are doing 30 100 meter repeats, it is enough to destroy a persons will to live, or at the minimum swim!  I am still determined to go without fins and make sure that I can learn to swim better without them so with sore legs from the day before I dive in and get started.  Now that I have taken my fins off I am pretty much the slowest in the squad and swimming 3kms certainly gives you plenty of time to think, again, about how you are the back of the pack, struggling to improve and keep balance in life.  I questioned myself yet again, have I set unrealistic goals?  Am I still having fun?  Should I just go back to running a few times a week and call it a day?

No, of course not, I set myself some goals, I know how good it is when you reach them and all this hard work is worth it, both mentally and physically.  The hard work I put in now is payed back tenfold later at the finish line, or when life throws me more curve balls (but please no more just yet), I can tell myself and my children that hard work is worth it, it pays off, the cheap medal means more than just a token, it is a culmination of the hard work, sweat, tears and self doubt that has been overcome to continue driving towards a goal and seek personal improvement.

We all have to start somewhere, and the bottom of the pack is just as good as anywhere.