This face.

I have a bunch of posts saved in drafts but I can't seem to muster the energy to finish them off and post them.  We are in a sleepless fog here at the moment, I wasn't sure that it was possible to get a baby that slept less than Otto, but I have managed to prove myself wrong, in the worst possible way.

There have been some big changes for this little guy in the last month, and a full 5 month post is on its way, for now I have this gorgeous photo instead, he may not sleep much but oh boy those baby blues kill me.

His face.

This face.

The slight pout, the raised chin of defiance.  I am raising one hell of a little boy, with the wrinkles to prove it.

Opa.

I am very lucky, I have wonderful Grandparents that I have lived near for most of my life, they were a big part of our life growing up and we made wonderful memories with them, staying in their house by the beach.

Aging is never easy, nor kind, and my Opa recently had a stroke.  We were very lucky and it was only minor but served as a wake up call for me that our time together here isn't forever.  This person that poured so much love into my childhood, and is so special to me is entering the sunset of his life.  It hurts to see him slow his pace, give up driving at night and no longer take walks along the beach because the oxygen tubing won't stretch that far.

Those once tight, tanned, muscular arms of my Opa who used to throw me in the air, lift me up to reach the branches of the trees looking for lizards, are now weak, requiring help to open jars and screw lids on.  The stories he used to drive us mad with, thick with the German accent he has never lost after countless decades living in Australia, are forgotten, he is either too tired, or can't remember the ending anymore.

One certainty though is that when I bring Otto and Hugo to visit, the light and happiness is there again, you can see past the wrinkles, oxygen tubing and hearing aids to the man who once held his own babies for the first time.  Who saw me journey from helpless newborn into a mother myself.

A Grandparents love is special, I knew that at any moment I could call them up and instantly feel better.  They love me unconditionally, they had to, my first instrument was the Kazoo, and my favourite thing was to give long drawn out performances with it.

I have so many special memories, but as theirs fade, it is my job to keep the storybook open, to retell the tales etched into my memory, to remind them how special my childhood was, all thanks to them.

Hugo 4 months.

So this is a little late, the poor thing is 20 weeks tomorrow and I am just getting around to it.  To say life is busy is a huge understatement, I have taken to closing the door to my laundry in an effort to convince myself it doesn't exist.  Sadly that tactic doesn't keep us in fresh underwear for long.

So a while ago Hugo was four months.  

This little guy is doing well.  Sleep, or lack of was our biggest issue this month, we seem to finally be on the road to recovery and the household is catching up which means I might slowly be getting my sense of humour back.

No major milestones, almost rolling over; loves to sit up; he has really mastered his hands and the ability to manipulate objects, especially right into his mouth; and lots of smiles peppered with a few giggles.

Life is busy, exhausting, tedious and frustrating at it's worst.  The thing about motherhood though, is the moment you think you can't handle another minute, you do, you handle it, and wait for the moment of transcendent happiness that comes sooner or later and makes you fit to burst.  What a roller coaster.

For my own fun, here are Otto and Hugo side by side.  Somehow I managed without knowing to put them in the same overalls for their 4 month picture.

Done.

The last 24 hours have been hard.  To remain a good mother I have had to draw from deep within.  Nothing shocking has happened, no one is terribly sick or hurt.  No, not that.  They are just driving me mad.

Yesterday afternoon Otto decided to give the bathroom a nice big long bath.  He was mindful though, to shut the door after turning the taps full on with the plug in the sink.  We were making muffins at the time and 15 minutes into it he told me he was going to check on the water, I am sure you can imagine my dismay when we opened the bathroom door only to find water cascading down the vanity and seeping into the carpet on the other side.  The positive was that I was made to clear out the mess that was our bathroom cupboard and it is looking much neater.  I am still, however soaking the water up and doing load after load of towels in the washing machine.

The night continued in its downhill spiral with Hugo waking me up 6 or 7 times, I am not exactly sure of the total, it really all became a blur after 3am.  I shouldn't be surprised though, our once excellent sleeper is anything but lately, please dear God let it be a stage.  If I thought that was a bad start to the day it really didn't get any better, Hugo has slept in 20min cycles, all. day. long.  and it has been a very long day!

They are lucky they are cute.

Now excuse me while I go and pick up a highchair and car seat.  Yep, my life is exciting today.

Insect party.

Thanks to an obsession with insects at the moment this years birthday party theme was an easy one!  I have learnt my lesson from years past and was a bit more organised than usual, however I still managed to leave a heap of things to the last minute.  Maybe next year I will be 100% organised.

I only wanted a handful of friends to come, those that Otto actually plays with regularly plus a few that we haven't had a chance to catch up with since moving back to the country and having a baby in quick succession.  We were lucky that everyone was able to come and help us celebrate this amazing little boy of ours.

I had wanted to incorporate some messy play into the day especially as that is usually Otto's favourite activity in our week, and mess can make anything fun.

Digging for bugs was the first activity I thought of, just some soil, in a plastic clam shell and hidden plastic insects throughout.

Digging got a huge amount of attention from the kids, in each of their party bags which I gave at the beginning was a jar, and whatever bugs they managed to find they could take home in their jar, along with a magnifying glass and some stickers.

I also had some insects hidden in slime, it took a little while for everyone to warm up to the slime, but once they got the idea there were slime and dirt covered children everywhere.

The final activity was fly swatter painting.  Han had managed to bring home some big pages of scrap paper form work and I covered them in stickers of ants and other insects.  This activity was by far the slowest to take off, but once it did there was no holding them back.

As usual I didn't get a huge amount of photos, I was too busy catching up and enjoying watching everyone enjoy themselves.  It was such a wonderful day, Otto had a great time and loved having all his friends surrounding him.  As a parent I find great joy watching those near and dear to me love my own children.

Present time is always so exciting no matter what age you are, and this year Otto really understood what it all meant.  

His face was priceless, especially once Fireman Sam was discovered.  

Another birthday done, our next one will be Hugo's first birthday which will come around soon enough I am sure.