Freeze time.

I missed last week's portraits, I didn't get them up on the blog because they don't exist, and while that makes me sad it is a true reflection of the week that was.  Sometimes you and win and sometimes you don't.

Right now, I just want to freeze time, I am in the midst of parenting small people that at times is unbearably challenging, and brings me so much joy.  I get to hold two little hands in mine every day and my lap is the richest commodity and fought over often in this house.  My time away from home as I increased working has taught me just how much of a privilege it is to spend so much time within their little worlds while they will still have me.

But.

Life is a roller coaster and as we head for a new bend it is up to me to keep it upward.  Han is yet again employed but as is the norm within his profession it will involve long stints away from home often, with short respites of family time.  Hopefully it won't be for very long.

So soon, it will be just me and the boys.  Grateful for the amazing capabilities of my husband to find work again so quickly (7 weeks) but missing him like crazy.  We have ridden the FIFO (fly in fly out) roller coaster before, so I have some idea of what is coming, but that was all before children.

Thank God for coffee, wine and chocolate!

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Otto:  Kindy went back this week and we all enjoyed the distraction, it was bittersweet for me, I knew you really enjoyed it, but at the same time I had a fun school break with you.  The closer you get to four the more I start to see the testosterone surge I have been warned of, I foresee some new challenging lessons coming our way, but don't worry, we will get there together.

Hugo:  This week you have really started to communicate with us, not so much with words but with your body language.  Earlier you wanted the music changed, so you found me, took my hand and led me to the lounge room then started dancing and pointing at the computer.  Once I switched it over to the wiggles, your face lit up and you treated me to your full repertoire of dance moves.  

This has been a strange old week, there is some promising news for Han which should hopefully be confirmed in the next few days, and while we are both relieved it is sad to think that these days might soon be nearing an end.  Finally we seem to have found the right balance and are starting to work so much more as a team on the home front, but that is life isn't it.  Onward to the next stage where we will surely face new challenges and new wonderful moments.

As always, linking up with Jodi.

Teddy bear's picnic.

1.  The entrance to the teddy bear's picnic

2.  Half of our delicious picnic

3.  Tea cup rides

4.  So happy to steal his big brothers "pop pop" (juice box)

5. Finalist in fashions of the field.

We had a great day yesterday, my mum organised for all of us to attend a special event at the races.  There were clowns, rides, face painting, jumping castles and fashions on the field, all while watching the horses race at Eagle Farm Racecourse.  The weather was simply fantastic, it is the middle of winter and we were all shedding cardigans within minutes of arriving, sipping the champagne provided in our baskets and watching the boys enjoy life.  It all felt rather luxurious and certainly a wonderful start to our weekend.

At the end of the day we had two tired boys, sun kissed and ready for an early night.  Perfection.

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Otto:  You were all dressed up ready for a fun day out, matching with your teddy bear for a day at the races.  This navy uniform from Indonesia is still your favourite dress up and coupled with your favourite song "In the Navy" by the Village People we are pretty sure we have some great material for your 21st party!  I love your spunk.

Hugo:  You are fun.  Han thinks you are developing the temper and stubborness of me.  I consider the jury to be out.

This week has been a rollercoaster, I have worked more than any other week since I left work to have Otto.  I have missed both Otto and Hugo with every single inch of me, physically feeling pain at not being able to cuddle them before bed, or calm them when they are upset, this time has taught me just how incredibly lucky and blessed my time as a mother has been.

As always, linking up with Jodi.

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Otto:  Duplo clicked with you big time this week.  Your engineer father is secretly thrilled!  I am enjoying watching you create, imagine and explore.  I am not enjoying stepping on it quite so much.

Hugo:  Oh my dear poor boy, you were sick this week, the worst I have ever seen you.  Your entire mouth has been full of ulcers, and six surrounded your mouth making it impossible to eat.  This was your first smile in days and I almost cried at the sight.  We are back on track and you are able to eat more than yoghurt and custard now.

I am so appreciative of this project, earlier in the week I looked back through all the posts and it made me so happy to see my boys smiling and changing faces, as well as a description of what we have done.  Thank you so much Jodi, as always it is a pleasure to link up to you.

Stretch and pause.

Since Han was made redundant we have had an interesting journey.  In some ways it has been wonderful to be home as a family unit, but unsurprisingly all this time together in a stressful situation has been hard, the kind of hard that teaches you about yourself, and shows you what still needs more work.  Han is feeling the weight of being unable to bring in the pay packet while I have felt the strain of trying to keep everything going while working more.  Pretty unsurprising really.

We are looking down a new path together, will he leave the engineering industry?  Will we buy our own business?  Will Han go back to study?  All of these new questions require us to stretch and open ourselves to change, a change we had no control over.  I usually embrace change, I have moved countless times in our life together, twice to overseas postings, relishing the idea of loosing myself in a new experience, but these were all with some measure of our control, we knew the basis of what and where we were going.

Adventure I am good with, uncharted uncontrolled waters, not so much.

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Otto:  You have wanted this dinosaur costume for a while now, so we worked out a plan for you to earn it yourself.  Opening your curtains, making your bed and taking your plate to the sink for a whole week and it would be yours.  Each day you did your "jobs" and by the end of the week you came home from your last day of kindy to find it sitting on your bed.

Hugo:  You are such a ham, you constantly pull this face, breathing deeply in and out through your nose, you love that the minute you start we all copy you.  

What a week, tonight I am going to try and sit down and do a brain dump.  It has been wonderful, hard and challenging all mixed together.

As always, linking up with Jodi.